Just read this post by blogger Naomi Neo and I think I can pretty much relate to it.
Is it really that hard to move on?
What is it so hard to move on?
I can't agree more to the five points she listed out.
1. Giving up on everything when he's in your life.
This was something I regretted over and over during my previous relationship.
(Yes if puppy love is counted then I had a relationship back then lol.)
Because of him I literally messed up my social life.
I dumped my friends for him,
as I wanted to spend every single moment in school with him.
Whenever he was around me,
I didn't need anything else.
Whenever I had free time,
the first one who popped out of my mind would be him.
Until the extent that I got more and more distant from my close friends,
who I really cherished.
I felt so sorry for them.
And then at a point of time,
I realised that I still need friends in school,
so I started making friends around again.
But there came the problem.
He got so jealous just because I took out a part of the time I normally spent with him to spend with my new social circle.
And they weren't even guy friends,
they were all girls!
I found him very unreasonable but in fact,
I was wrong from the very beginning.
Because I gave all my attentions to him and I suddenly changed after he got so used to my behaviour.
By right I should have maintained my own social life even when I had him,
so when he left my life,
I wouldn't be left with nothing.
But if you ask me whether I'm regret or not,
I can confidently tell you,
not at all.
Because we were both immature.
2. You're stuck with the idea that you'll never find another guy like him.
This was what I thought when I realised a problem between me and my previous crush but I wouldn't want to let go because I thought I would never find another guy like him.
He was my ideal type,
he fulfilled all the criterias I looked for in a guy,
as I had mentioned in one of my old blog posts.
I was dumb enough to think that I couldn't find a better one,
and I held on so tight even though I knew we couldn't make it anymore.
I tried every single way I could,
letting my dignity so low until he ended up with someone else.
So here's an advice to myself,
and to everyone else out there.
Just because he is great,
it doesn't mean you can't find someone better.
Stop holding on to that thought and stop convincing yourself that no other guy in this world would possess similar or even better qualities.
3. You miss the way he made you feel.
Sometimes we don't really miss the person,
instead we miss the way the person treated us.
They are two different things.
I had met a lot of similar situations before.
The guy treated me very nice at first,
some even made me think they like me,
then he changed all of a sudden.
Maybe I didn't even like him,
but I liked the way he treated me.
Therefore I couldn't move out of the sudden change,
I would keep on recalling how nice he was,
without realising the 'nice' was already a past.
He's different now,
so stop missing the old him.
4. You think you're unworthy.
This is what keeps running in my mind nowadays!
Since the day I knew he ended up with someone else,
I would always judge myself,
comparing myself with others.
Am I really that bad?
Am I really that unworthy?
I took the initiative and how could you not like me?
It was the first time in my life I took an initiative towards a guy!
And there are quite some guys who like me,
why don't you?
How could you not like seriously why were you not attracted to a girl like me wtf.
Okay maybe I'm the a bit hao lian (Thinks highly of myself.) type so this was what I thought.
I'm being honest to everyone who ever read my blog here.
And ever since this incident happened I started thinking myself unworthy,
not good enough not pretty enough not smart enough not skillful enough.
I know people will say don't ever think like that,
I know.
And I'm trying hard to find my self worth right now.
Just let the past be the past.
5. You think you're never gonna love someone else the same way because you're so infatuated with him.
Because of the failure which I still find it super embarrassing,
I will sometimes think I don't have the energy or guts to like someone anymore.
Now even if I have someone in my mind,
I won't ever take the initiative anymore.
I'll go back to my old style,
wait for him to initiate a move and if he doesn't,
I'll just let him go.
I seriously can't take another failure anymore,
because a scar is a scar,
it'll forever remain.
Right now I always tell people that being single is great,
it's indeed great but deep down in my heart,
I know I have to stay strong,
to not let all the emotions out,
most importantly to not break down.
I seldom say this but,
wish me luck. :)
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